I DID IT

"I did it Daddy ... I did it!" my three year old daughter screams from the back seat of my Honda Pilot! Samiah's shoe had fallen off and she was trying to get it back on, which in our family is not an easy task at her age while strapped in a car seat with nothing to push her foot against. She was having trouble with it and my oldest daughter, Awan, was insisting on helping when Samiah obviously didn't want it. Her brother was on the other side of her with no clue that she was trying to accomplish anything and kept bumping her. Honestly, it was painful to watch in my rear view mirror. But after fifteen minutes of fending everyone off and struggling with her young uncoordinated body, she did it!

Success! We push, drive and persevere for it. We fend off the obstacles around us to get that job, buy that house, write that blog :) or win that contest! But how do we measure success? How do we know when something we have done is successful or not?

You see there is another side to success ... failure. When we fail to accomplish our goals, we can get angry, sad, confused and depressed. Some of us can shrug it off and not really care. I mean maybe that goal really wasn't all that important. Others of us are just torn apart! How we measure our success determines our reaction, our nerves and our health.

Black and White
One way that we measure success can be very black and white, all or nothing, if you're not first, you're last. Now this mentality can be very effective for motivation, if you're close to the top like second striving for first. What if you're not though? What if you are like the rest of us who aren't the most gifted or experienced? What if your black and white goal is just out of reach, but you gave it all you had, your very best?

Your Very Best
Another way we measure success is by our effort. We gave it our all, worked our hardest but the results just weren't there this time. This can be a good method giving worth to our efforts. The problem is that it is subjective. It's not easy to quantify.

In car sales, I have goals. Certain numbers of cars per month, per year that I strive to accomplish. Always a little more and a little better than the previous year. That sounds pretty black and white. I either hit my numbers or I don't, right? So maybe then if I don't hit my goals I can fall back on the effort logic, right? Lets say I hit or do better than the numbers, but my effort really wasn't all that great. I was pretty lazy but I got lucky! How do I measure it then?

The Target
I like to look at success as a target. The bulls eye of a target is never just a single point only the size of the dart or arrow. It is typically an area of which you have margin, different locations within the bulls eye is still on target. The arrow or dart that hits the edge of the bulls eye still gets the same points as the one that hits dead center. When I set goals, I normally set a range. I should get between 14 and 18 cars for the month or between 156 and 170 cars for the year. I have a target that I should hit and then a goal to reach for. Then having the long term goals helps in case there is a month where I don't reach my target or goal I may make up for it by going over those numbers on another month. Two under goal evens out when I am two over goal the following month, right? And I never forget about effort! I always take my efforts into account. I analyze my creativity, energy and quantity of task completion about 4 times a year.

So I get the opportunity to look back and say "I did it!" without the high blood pressure, anxiety and bad attitude.

Maybe your goals are different than mine. Getting to a certain weight through diet and exercise. Getting good grades and accepted by the right schools. Being noticed and hired by the right company in the right position. Financial goals, life goals, educational goals, we are always trying to measure our success and it can really stress us out! Give your self the chance to achieve, attain and thrive! Be able to look your opponents and obstacles in the face with a smile!

Then CELEBRATE! Because ... YOU DID IT!

Die, Winter! Die!

I have about had it with winter! Haven't you? All of the dead, cold nothingness! My weather app says that it feels like -19° outside today in Muncie Indiana! Then layer ice and a thick layer of snow on top of that! Slippery roads with never enough salt and plow trucks! I never wake up on a day like today excited for what's to come!

You know, sometimes I feel that way about my life! I just feel like the day is going to be dangerous. My experiences are cold, damp, dreary and just blah! I'm just waiting for the next time I'm going to slip up and and end up in the ditch. In these times I don't feel like there's anyone around who can or will help!

I had a friend tell me about a picture that he had seen. Someone had built a snowman ... but it was laying down. It had several knives stuck in what we would guess to be the abdominal region and the picture was titled "Die, Winter! Die!" You know, that is how I feel about winter right now, but really, that is how I feel about life at times.

You see, life is made of patterns, cycles, or seasons. Today is the Lunar New Year, another cycle that has just ended ... or you could say, just started! Each season, each pattern, each cycle has a beginning and an ending leading into something new.

The earth needs seasons. The dying off of Autumn creates great fertilization of the soil, the cold of winter and even the snow acts to preserve and insulate all in preparation for ...

SPRING!

Spring break, warm temperatures, beautiful flowers, green grass, sun shine, fresh starts, new beginnings, new life! All the good and excitement of spring wouldn't be there without the dead of winter! It may be cold right now, but spring time is coming! You may feel dead right now, but new life is coming!

We have our tough, rough and tumble. We get bruised, beaten, scorned and shamed. We get sad, mad, uptight and nervous. It gets cold and dark, but the sun is coming! We will have good, happy and joyful days. We will heal, persevere, be acknowledged and relieved! It will come! You will be stronger, smarter and matured because of it!

There are seasons and yours may be cold and hard right now. Every season has an end and new life always springs up from death! Yours spring time is coming! Stay strong!

Yeah, that feels good!

What is the best feeling ever!

Think about your life. That time that you won something! The moment that you accomplished something that you have been working hard for! When you got married! When your last child finally moves out! What are those moments in your life when elation exceeds the norm?

There is this little girl at my wife's daycare. She is the type of girl who says the things that everyone else is thinking but just won't say. She was in the restroom one day and she tells my wife, "I love to poop! I just feels so good!" Of course when you here this, you die laughing! Not because a little girl said "poop," but because we all have felt the same thing and have just never had the courage to say it out loud!

I recently have had a conflict with a friend of mine. I had acted in a way that, I felt, should have made this person really angry at me. I mean, I would have been angry if someone had done the same thing to me! After about a week of avoiding him, he approaches me and acts like nothing had happened. Nothing was wrong! This confused me, so later I asked him about it. He said that it was no big deal. That he understood why I did it. He mentioned that he was a bit taken back at first but after thinking about it, knew that I had not meant to hurt him. All of that was true! He understood me! He's not angry with me! Wow, what a relief!

Now that felt good! All of the anxiety that built up. The anticipation of a conversation in defense and worry about what he really thought of me. All pain I felt in punishing myself for hurting him. 

All of it ... GONE!

Now that is a lot different from dropping a load in the toilet, but the same feeling none the less!

Relief! Every good feeling that you have, I guarantee is tied to relief!

Relief is what hope is built on, what pursuit is driving for. It is what you and I live for, everyday! We don't live so that everything goes perfectly with out a drop of disappointment! We pursue everyday, through the hard times, searching for relief and when we get it, we would like it to stay. The problem is that we know, you can't have relief with out the hard times. 

If you are going through difficulty right now, don't worry, it's what has to happen in order for you to feel relief! The best feeling in the world! It's coming, persevere and when you get the opportunity pass it on! Their are plenty of opportunities to give relief to others, and when you do, you get to join in that moment of elation! You get to feel a bit of that relief, yourself! 

Tough times are going to come, but every time we sit on the toilet, let it be a reminder of what is soon to come!