I was the chaperone at a high school dance last night. It was a side organization that tries to create safe environments for students to have fun and get mentored by some fun loving adults. There was plenty of food, a dance floor and a DJ with lights and a smoke machine! Because nothing in life is quite as epic without a smoke machine ... Right? There were students from multiple schools in the county. Out of all those people, there was one couple in particular that caught my eye and intrigued me. The guy was tall and skinny and was incredibly outgoing. He couldn't dance worth much, but that didn't stop him from gyrating all over the dance floor! He would dance with his friends and he would dance with his girlfriend holding her arms and wailing them as wildly as he was. It didn't seem like he knew a single stranger. His girlfriend was quite the opposite. She was a fairly attractive young lady, but she seemed quite timid and unsure of herself. She would follow her boyfriend around just waiting to see what else he was going to do. She wanted to be a part of whatever he was doing. She would start to dance… or at least move her hands in a slightly awkward dancing fashion without moving them outside of her shoulders, bent at the elbows and when her boyfriend would turn to her, she would raise her I eyebrows and give an open mouth smile like she was having the time of her life! Then when he would turn away from her, she would settle down to that awkward stance and even step just slightly off the dance floor as to get out of such an unfamiliar environment. She was trying so hard not to mess up and not do anything embarrassing or awkward. The problem is that in her trying so hard to be perfect and not awkward, it made her look so incredibly awkward! The very thing that she was trying to avoid by her actions, she actually brought on herself by those same actions. You could easily tell that she did not know who she was outside of being this guy's girlfriend. Now, don't get me wrong, he was incredibly nice to her and seemed to be a good boyfriend. She just had no identity outside of him and her fear of messing up was crippling her.
I have been there before. Trying for the acceptance and approval of a new boss or a new group of friends and the very things that I would do in order to gain their favor would end up being what made me all the more the awkward and unsuccessful. Some of my most appreciated and accepted moments are when I wasn't even trying! When I was just being who I am.
When I go shopping with my wife, I get bored. However malls were made just for me. Each store has a new song playing, a new mood and a new way to ... annoy my wife! The mall is where I get to experiment with new dance moves and I usually do them in order to gain the attention of my wife or a random shopper. All my best moves come from this very awkward experiment of body movements. And to be honest, I am actually incredibly awkward. I know that I am seeking attention and acceptance but because I am trying for it, I normally get this horribly peeved look and the exact opposite of my goal. ... Or is it? ...
I have been caught many other times, in my own world. Not that I am totally tuned out, but when the music is on you can catch me bobbing my head, moving my legs or strutting my shoulders to the beat. This will sometimes get a giggle from an unsuspected passerby. In these moments, I am not intending the approval of anyone, but I get it for no other reason than I am not trying for it!
Now, I know that my theory is circumstantial and you certainly should not "try" and get attention, acceptance or approval by Not trying! That's like a double negative. None of that shouldn't work never!
Be yourself! Be the best you that you can be and don't ever question it! Do your thing, be who you are and people will respect you all the more for it! You do you!
Just Dance Your Dance!
